J.N photographed by Christina
I have spent most of this week with my sister, as we come to terms with the loss of our friend. The funeral was on Wednesday, a Lutheran service with hymns, prayers, a choir and piano pieces. The music was beautiful, as was the eulogy, but seeing three of my friends as pallbearers, their beautiful manly faces contorted with grief, as they walked out of the church with the body of our friend, that was the most painful part. The friends and family stood collectively outside the church for one last prayer as J.N's mother touched his coffin for the last time and as the car pulled away and there was complete and utter silence. Then it rained, and the funeral party stood about in the rain, lost for a while, before finding shelter back inside the church or under awnings, no one ready to leave just yet.
When we did leave, "the kids" (J.N's friends), went for our own wake for him at a nearby pub, we filled a courtyard and stayed for hours, sharing stories, memories and condolences. And trying to understand, coming to terms with the finality of his last act and forgiving him. A moving scene; his university lecturers beside his ex-girlfriends, school friends, fellow artists and musicians and house mates.
Yesterday I spent the day with my sister again and our school friend Woody, who flew down from North Queensland for the funeral, he was very close to J.N. Woody has grown into such a beautiful man and it was wonderful to see him, and such a pity about the circumstances.
On a final positive note, we have found a little rental and been approved. It is an old little two bedroom terraced cottage right in the heart of Brisbane, built in 1873. A little run down, but has a lot of charm, cheap rent and a great location.